


How to Succeed

by vampgirltish



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Love Triangles, Romance, Unrequited Love, it's four sided...but also two sided? what, more like a love...square?, musical theater, one-sided romances, shittily written music/acting parts, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5751049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampgirltish/pseuds/vampgirltish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suddenly there is music, in the sound of your name. Rosemary...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rachelisconfused](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelisconfused/gifts).



> songs used in this fic-  
> paris original: https://youtu.be/k_-MZsUEf6k  
> been a long day: https://youtu.be/zdtmI_FE-pc

_I slipped out this afternoon, and bought some love insurance._

_A most exclusive dress from gay Paris!_

_It’s sleek, it’s chic, it’s magnifique, with sex beyond endurance!  
_

_It’s me, it’s me, it’s absolutely me!_

Danny knew you were a fantastic musician. He knew you were going to get Rosemary. He knew from the moment you had opened your mouth and belted out, beautifully, the entirety of Don’t Rain on My Parade from Funny Girl. You were so fantastic the directors and assistant directors couldn’t bear to cut you off, even though not moments before the previous girl sang two words before they cut her audition with a ‘Thank you, we’ve heard enough.’ He’d been awestruck, shocked, amazed. He had to pick his jaw up off the floor. He had hoped desperately to get the role, but he couldn’t. Barry Kramer ended up getting the role of J. Pierrepont Finch. Danny ended up being Finch’s understudy, and bagging the role of J. B. Biggley.

“Dan?” a girl said, tapping on his shoulder. He caught eyes with Holly. “I need you back in costumes.” He got up, following her and tripping over his feet as he left, having trouble tearing his eyes away from you. Getting his waist measured for suits and trying on fifteen different jackets. The costumes crew struggled to find him a pair of shoes to fit his giant feet. Eventually they figured it out, and he heard the director calling.

“Danny Avidan! Where the hell is Biggley?” Then, several of his friends were calling for him. He heard your voice over the speakers.

“Danny! You’re needed onstage.” As he passed you, you offered him a smile, and he smiled back. He’d not really talked to you before. Onstage was Barry, chatting with…oh god. There she was. Charlie. She’d always asked Danny to call her ‘Char,’ but he always forgot. He got stupid around her. He smiled at her, but she didn’t look back. Instead, she kept talking to Barry. Danny felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach, but ignored it.

“Alright, take it from page seventy-five. Ovington. ‘But I’d like to say that…’,” the director calls from her chair.

Ovington…he couldn’t remember the name of the kid playing him. Some junior. He said his line.

Bratt began. Danny tried to remember his name. He thinks for a moment. “Say, Bud…” Oh yeah. It was the Australian exchange kid. Ross. Holly had made--

Hedy…oh no, it was Char. “You call this a double martini? There’s only one olive in it.”

Ovington again. “I’d like to say…”

Bratt. “Bud, J.B. says for you to take Miss LaRue home. She doesn’t seem to be feeling well.”

Char as Hedy. She wobbles a little, but says, “I’m feeling fine!”

Bud—his friend Arin—looks Char dead in the eyes. “You feel terrible,” and pulls her offstage.

Char winks in Barry’s direction, ever in character, and says in a sultry voice, “Hey, Finchy. Let’s dance.”

Ovington starts talking, but Danny wasn’t listening.

Barry grabs your hands and starts dancing with you. “I’m already dancing, with Rosemary.” A couple awkward steps later, and Char is pulled some more.

Danny remembers he’s supposed to speak. “Everybody. Dance!” Then, he reaches for the hands of some other girl, another junior playing Miss Jones, and dances with her.

Ovington talks, “Furthermore, I’d like to…”

People continue ignoring him and the scene continues. The director stops the scene, tells everyone they looked dead, and to try it again in five minutes. The director called him over then, and sighed. “Listen, Danny. You’re doing great giving heart eyes to Hedy, but tone it down a bit. You need to be interested, but not too interested. Also, you were really slow on your cue. You need to say ‘Everybody, dance’ practically right after Finch says that he’s dancing with Rosemary. Because, otherwise there’s an awkward gap. You’re trying to fill the space so Finch doesn’t look stupid.”

Danny nodded, “Yes ma’am, I’m sorry. I’ll work on it.”

“Attaboy. You’ve got a lot of talent. We’re going to run some songs with you as Finch in a bit, alright? We need to make sure you know those front to back.”

“Which ones?”

“Been a Long Day and Brotherhood of Man, I think.”

“Sounds good. Thank you, ma’am.”

Danny then turned, walking back on stage and waiting. They run through the scene four more times, and Danny is praised for reacting well to his criticism and following his cue quickly. Barry receives some criticism for his dance steps, and the director tells him to go work on those with the dance instructor. Everyone is told to take five, and the director calls Danny, you, and another girl, a senior, who was playing Smitty.

“Alright you three. We’re going to work on Been a Long Day. Okay?”

“Sounds good, Miss Robison.”

She starts to sing now.

_Well, here it is five P.M._

_The finish of a long day’s work._

_And there they are, both of them._

_The secretary and the clerk._

You look at Danny. Danny looks at you. You look away. You look at him. He looks away. Then you look away.

_Not very well acquainted._

_Not very much to say_.

Well wasn’t that true? You two barely knew each other.

_But I can hear those two little minds ticking away._

_Now she’s thinking_ …

Then your mouth opens, and your voice flutters out.

_I wonder if we take the same bus?_

Smitty again.

_And he’s thinking._

Then Danny sang.

 _There could be quite a thing between us_.

The director praised his singing, and Danny smiled in spite of himself. The song continued. Miss Robison calls, “Alright, you two! Act!” Smitty sings…

 _Then she says_ …

You mock a yawn, rubbing your eyes briefly.

_And he says…_

“Err…uh…” Danny says. Thank god that was his line. He wasn’t really paying attention. “Well…it’s been a long day…” Then the three of you joined together in sync.

_Well, it’s been a long,_

_Been a long, been a long,_

_Been a long day._

The song went further. “Act! C’mon, I want to see life between you two, Finch, Rosemary!” He forgot for a moment that he was Finch. Not Biggley. This was his dream role, and he was throwing it away being disappointed that Rosemary was being played by you, and not by Char. Smitty sings again.

_Then, she says…_

You mock a sneeze.

_And he says…_

Danny quickly cuts in, “Gesundheit!”  
You say quickly, “Thank you!”

Danny catches your eyes, and tries a flirtatious smile.

_Well, it’s been a long day…_

The song was almost over now. He felt like he’d sang this song fifteen times over.

_Then, she says…_

“Hungry?”

_And he says…_

“Yeah!”

You excitedly say, “Yeah?”

Smitty giggles, “Yeah!”

You all sing once more about how it’s been a long day. To Danny, it felt like the longest day of his life. And there were so many more rehearsals to come. They had two more months to pull this show together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs in this chapter-  
> i believe in you (reprise): https://youtu.be/f_CgWyj2DDc  
> (warning: this version has the dialogue a bit rearranged)

It was amazing how quickly disaster could strike in the theater business. Barry had caught mono. Roles were rearranged. Someone else had to step in as Biggley, and of course, Danny was then stuck with Finch. You were fine. You hadn’t caught mono. You hadn’t started kissing yet. In theater, you typically didn’t start the stage kisses until the actual show. The dress rehearsals, sometimes.

Danny heard the director call his name. “Danny Avidan, (y/f/n) (y/l/n), Alice Walker, Arin Hanson! Start with Miss Jones before the reprise of I Believe in You! Let’s go!”

Now he remembered the girl who played Miss Jones’s name. Alice Walker. Alice looks at him for a moment before heading on stage. You stand next to her.

“Oh, Rosemary, have you seen Ponty?” Alice asks.

“No, Miss Jones, and I’m so worried about him,” you reply.

“So am I. He was a nice boy.”

“Was? What will they do to him?”

“I don’t know…somebody’s head has to roll.” Then, Alice makes a bowling sort of gesture—a reference to Miss Jones’s character being a bowler. Then she exits.

You sigh quietly, still in character. “Ponty will think of something, won’t Ponty…” Then you sang. It was always beautiful.

_You have the cool, clear eyes of a_

_Seeker of wisdom and truth;_

_Yet there’s that upturned chin,_

_And the grin of impetuous youth._

_Oh, I believe in you. I believe in you._

Danny bursts onstage, and you react, startled. “Ponty! Ponty!” He hugs you sweetly.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Danny says.

“Where have you been?” you ask.

“Oh, walking the streets, thinking, thinking.”

You reach and touch Danny’s forehead. “You’ve got a bruise on your head.”

“It’s nothing. I got it last night,” Danny assures. “They threw me out of a saloon.”

You mock horror and outrage, “Why did they do that?!”

“Because I didn’t buy anything,” Danny admits.

“The brutes,” you say bitterly. “Why don’t you go home?”

“No…I’ve got to go face the music,” Danny says with a sigh.

Bud—Arin—peeks his head in through one of the doors. “Ah-ha!” Then, he pops back out, shutting the door behind him.

“Well, this is it,” Danny says.

“The chairman of the board is in there,” you say.

“I figured that.”  
“What are you going to do?”

He steps a bit away from her. “Do? What does a man do when the world has collapsed around his ears? Nothing. I’ll just take what’s coming to me.”

“Ponty, I know with that mind of yours…” you start. You reached to pat his shoulder gently.

“No, Rosemary. I’m putting that mind of mine away. I’m just going to make a clean breast of everything and go back to what I was before I came here.”

“What were you?”

“I was an exterior decorator.” He catches himself in his lie, and Danny flinches to show this. “There I go again! I can’t even tell you the truth…” he sighs. “I was a window washer.”

“So what? I don’t care what you do, Ponty, I’m sticking. I walked out on you once.”

“You did?” Danny asks, clearly not remembering.

You shake your head. It was in the past. “Well, I’m not leaving you again.”

“Rosemary, you can’t be the wife of a window washer. That’s no life for a woman sitting at home while I’m up there, never knowing if I’ve landed safely.”

“Now, listen to me, Finch…” you start, but Arin bursts in again with four men.

“Finch, you’re wanted in J.B.’s office,” Arin says.

“I thought I’d wash up first,” Danny says, trying to buy time.

“They want you now.”

“Gee, can’t I even say good-bye to Rosemary?”

Arin sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Go ahead…”

Danny crosses closer to you, holding your hands for a moment. “Rosemary, good-bye—”

“Come along,” Arin cuts off.

“But I…” He tries to move closer, but finds himself blocked in by the four men. “I’m sorry, Rosemary. I wish none of this had ever happened.” Danny lets himself be taken away by the men.

You chase after, “Ponty!”

Arin steps in front of you.

You stop.

Arin leaves.

You sigh, looking down at the stage, and the lights go dark.

You hear the door open again and Danny and Arin come back. The director praises you three, and tells you guys to go take a break while some others run through stuff.

As you sat there, taking a break and working on a bit of homework, you thought. You realized you’d never done the stage kiss, neither with Barry nor Danny. You were a bit disappointed, both that you couldn’t have kissed Barry, and the fact that he got mono so you wouldn’t be able to at all…not under the context of the show at least. You wondered if the director was going to make you do it earlier.

Danny went up to one of the assistant directors. “Listen, Maggie, I need to ask you something.”

“What’s up, Avidan?”

He felt a bit bruised at that nickname, but continued, “I don’t want to kiss her.”

“That’s theater, baby. You have to kiss her.”

“Can we put it off?”

“I can ask Miss Robison to avoid it until dress.”

“How about until the actual performances?”

“Don’t press your luck.”

“I really cannot kiss her.”

“Why the hell not?” Maggie asked.

“Because I just can’t.”

“You have the hots for Charlie, didn’t you?”

His answer…his lie…came all too quick. “No!”

“Yeah you do. Well, fun fact, baby. She doesn’t like you either. She wanted to kiss Kramer this whole time.”

Danny felt a little bit better knowing she wasn’t interested in him either. Thank god. At least it was awkward for both of them. At least he'd still get to kiss Char the once while she was Hedy. He thanked Maggie and then sat at one of the tables to work on his own homework. It was hard to focus on calculus though, not when he kept hearing your voice float through the halls as you practiced your solos for the tenth time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry that most of this is just quoting the show  
> the next chapter shit will actually happen i swear


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs in this chapter-  
> rosemary/finch is in love: https://youtu.be/DxNprbuxll8

Opening night. A million things could go wrong. Danny pulled on the uncomfortable grey suit they put on him. He was standing offstage as the lights came up. He walked in the room, and looks around in admiration. Finch had never been in the room before, so he had to act impressed. He slides into the big leather chair that was placed in the office, grinning to himself. He looks to the crowd. “Someday, someday…” in reference to the big chair, big office.

The bathroom door opens, and there she was. Char. Char places her hands over Danny’s eyes, and the crowd laughs. She pauses for a second, then says, “Guess who?”

Danny reaches back, aiming lower so he doesn’t accidentally grab her breasts. “Mr. Biggley?”

The crowd laughs again. “No! It’s me!” She folds her arms indignantly.

“Oh, hi, Hedy. I was supposed to meet Mr. Biggley here.”

“Mr. Biggley? He’s not coming. Somebody gave you a burn steer.”

Danny sighs. He stands, “I should have known it was a rib. Well, I’d better—” He goes for the door.

“What’s your hurry?” Char says, with a wink. Danny forces his cheeks not to get pink.

“I think I’d better get back to the party.”

“It’s more fun down here.”

“Well, I’d think I’d better.”

Char’s face turned to bitterness, anger. He hated it on her. “You’re anxious to get back to that Rosemary, huh? Are you stuck on her?” He wanted to grab Char by the shoulders. _No no no! I love you! I like you! I want to kiss you! You’re so beautiful!_

“Rosemary? Oh, she and I are just good friends.” _That’s true, Char. We’re barely even friends. I want to be with you._

Char walks closer to him, “That’s very sensible. An up-and-coming young chap like you shouldn’t be tied down. I’ve been watching you buster.” Playfully, Char smacks him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. “You’re going places.”

“Venezuela…” Danny said, in reference to a pervert character who got sent off to Venezuela because he kept going after secretaries. “Look, Hedy…”

“Wouldn’t J.B. die if he walked in and found you kissing me?”

“Frankly, I’d rather he didn’t,” Danny admitted.

“C’mon, let’s try it,” Char said flirtatiously. Ever in character.

“Nuh-uh,” Danny said, shaking his head. Though, he’d really rather say, ‘hell yes,’ and kiss her senseless.

“You’d better, Finch. If you don’t kiss me, I’ll tell J.B. you did,” Char threatened.

“Okay!” he says, panicked. “Just once.”

Char walked her way over to Danny sitting in the chair, sliding comfortably into his lap. His literal dream was coming true. Playing Finch in the show, and kissing Char. She kisses him both too long and too short. The sound of a harp plays. Danny shakes his head, and the trumpets of Rosemary’s theme bursts in. The kiss didn’t feel at all like he thought it would. Danny thought it would feel like fireworks, sparkles, warm and exciting. It just felt like a kiss. Like a chore. This wasn’t his dream at all.

Danny half-sings, “Rosemary!” He stands.

“Huh?” Char says.

The trumpet bursts again. “Can’t you hear it?” Danny asks. He sings again, “Rosemary!”

“Rosemary?” Char asks.

“That kiss…”

“What about that kiss?”

“Rosemary!” Danny said, putting a finger up in a ‘Eureka!’ gesture.

“It is highly insulting to think of two broads in the middle of one kiss,” Char said, crossing her arms angrily.

“I’m sorry, Hedy, but something has happened to me. I can’t explain…”

Char pointed at him. “Finch! You are in love.”

The trumpet plays louder than ever.

Danny turned to look towards her. “That’s right! Finch is in love! It’s like music all around me. Like a symphony. I must have been in love ever since she took my particulars.”

Char walked closer to him. “And you found this out by kissing me?”

“Yes, Hedy.”

Char shakes her head, surprised. “I don’t know my own strength.” Char then exits into the bathroom offstage.

Danny started singing. He sang from his heart. Maybe Char wasn’t for him. He didn’t really know her that well either.

_Suddenly, there is music…_

_In the sound of your name._

_Rosemary._

_Rosemary._

_Was the melody locked inside me,_

_Till at last, out it came._

_Rosemary!_

_Rosemary,_

_Just imagine if we kissed._

_What a crescendo!_

Danny pauses for a moment. He closes his eyes, raising his fist high in a gesture of triumph. Soaks it in. Feels the warm stage light on him. Senses the crowd listening intently, bated breath, asking what will happen next.

_Not to be missed…._

_As for the rest of my lifetime program,_

_Give me more of the same._

_Rosemary!_

_Rosemary…_

_There is wonderful music_

_In the very sound of your name…_

Danny fell to the floor as if struck by love. The crowd laughs but shushes quickly. They don’t want to miss a thing. You enter, searching for him.

“Ponty, I heard Bud Frump talking at the party. Where is she?”

Danny hopped up all at once. “Rosemary, something wonderful has happened!” He hurried over to her. It was important.

“What are you talking about?” you asked.

“Can’t you hear it? Can’t you hear it?!” He sings again.

_Suddenly there is music_

_In the sound of your name…_

You shake your head. “I can’t hear a thing.”

Danny sings ‘Rosemary’ once more. “Just listen! It’s all around me…like a beautiful pink sky!”

“Now look here, J. Pierrepont Finch. Have you lost your mind?”

Danny put on a face of pure desperation, eyes wide. “Rosemary, darling! Will you marry J. Pierrepont Finch?”

A bell clangs, once, twice. You burst. “I hear it! I hear it!” You sang now.

_Suddenly there is music,_

_In the sound of your name_

_J. Pierrepont!_

Danny crossed the stage to move close to you, and you both move in a circle as he sings.

_Rosemary, just imagine_

_If we kissed._

_What a crescendo!_

A long piano concerto played as you kiss. Twenty seconds later, he pulled away from you. Danny’s head was running through overdrive now, because that kiss felt like what he thought his kiss with Char would have felt like. He felt fireworks, sparks, warmth, fluttering happiness. He wanted more.

He shook himself from his thoughts to join you singing.

 _Not to be missed_.

Then he sang alone again.

_As for the rest of my lifetime_

_Program give me more of the same._

Then you two sang in a beautiful duet at the same time. As he sang ‘Rosemary,’ you sang ‘J. Pierrepont’ twice in succession. Then…

_There is wonderful music_

_In the very sound…_

_Of…_

_Your…_

_Name…!_

A chord of harmony between your voices on the final note. The crowd holds their applause, but a man in the crowd whistles. Probably Danny’s dad.

Danny started talking, “Oh, honey. I’ve been so wrapped up in trying to get ahead that I never…” Char enters back in, wearing nothing but a towel. You see her enter, but Danny does not. “…realized. It’s as though I’m seeing you for the first time.”

Suddenly, you put on a voice of anger. “And I’m seeing you for the first time. You have on two different kinds of lipstick. Mine…” then you point to Char. “And hers.”

Danny looked and saw Char, startled. “Rosemary, this is very easily explained. You don’t understand.”

You shake your head, angrily, crossing your arms and trying not to look hurt. “Yes, I do. Well, don’t let me keep you! Go on. Go back to making love to her. Kiss her again. Take he home for the weekend. I don’t care!” You exit.

Danny turned to Char. “What will I do?”

She put on a foxlike grin. “Let’s do what she said.”

~*~*~

It was so close to the end. He’d kissed the girl he thought was the girl of his dreams. He’d kissed the girl he never really was interested in. He was so confused.

“Just a moment. I don’t know if I can accept. I’ll have to consult Mrs. Finch,” Danny said, with a fond smile.

The girl playing Smitty called, “Rosemary, your husband is calling you!”

A chorus of girls sing ‘hallelujah!’ in reference to a previous song. You entered, and made your way to Danny.

Danny spoke, “Rosemary, I’ve got a big decision to make. They want to make me chairman of the board. What do you think?”

You smiled at him, “Darling, I don’t care if you work in the mailroom or you’re chairman of the board or you’re President of the United States. I love you.”

Danny turns to look at the crowd, then back at you. “Say that again.”

You smiled wider, “I love you.”

“No, before that.”

Biggley chuckles, and called, “Miss Jones!” Alice entered. “Take a wire to the White House: ‘Watch out!’”

Danny looked into the crowd as a spotlight shines on him solely. He winks to the crowd as a bell dings with his grin. A breaking of the fourth wall again to show how he was going to once again weasel his way into another high position with no knowledge of how to do that job. The lights come back up, and you move closer to Danny, pressing a kiss to his lips again.

It was entirely unscripted, and he held your waist, dipping you a little.

And then he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this garbage!  
> i can assume y'all can guess what the ending means.  
> but yeah. i think this baby's done. i might write another chapter but thats like 13% likely.  
> enjoy.  
> (ps rachel: i hope you like this shitty shit garbage)

**Author's Note:**

> I NEED TO STOP  
> (thanks to rachel for encouraging this thing to happen. i love you and our late night conversations. i feel like ive known you all my life but yet i've only been talking to you for 3 days. i'm amazed. you're fantastic.)


End file.
